Lord, I want to be a child again. It’s Christmas, Lord, and I want to be a child. It’s supposed to be a time of joy and peace, but I feel chaos; planning, schedules, parties, figuring out what to give as gifts, rearranging my schedule to meet the needs of others. I feel loss; memories of those who are no longer here to celebrate with my family.
When I was a child I felt joy and peace because I didn’t have to worry or think about taking care of others or putting the needs of others before me. As a child there was nothing to worry about, but now I’m an adult and I feel overwhelmed.
Genesis 1:16-17 - God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, (NASB)
What kind of light am I, Abba? What kind of light do You want me to be? Am I to be a tiny little light that can barely be seen or am a slightly larger star or what? I am no star, no light, at all without You, Abba. I have no light to give, nothing to give anyone, except that I have You to share with them. The only value I have is my value though You.
Genesis 1:15 - and let them be for the lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth;” and it was so. (NASB)
But You knew, Abba, that by my very nature, my human mind would need a source to understand and help me to function on a day-to-day basis so You put that source of light in the sky. Abba, I ask You to help me not need that source, but to only focus on the true Source—You. Help me not to need to see the Source of all that I need, but to depend on the Source without seeing it. Abba, You are my Source and You are all that I need.
Genesis 1:13-14 -- There was the evening and there was morning, a third day. Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years; (NASB)
A third day, Abba, at this task of writing from the Bible. Not only does this correspond with the time I have spend writing this, but it also shows that we are on a journey together. We move through Your words as time passes and I continue to learn. Abba, I thank you for the lessons You are teaching me through Your word.
Genesis 1:11-12: Then God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation: plants yielding seed, and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them;” and it was so. The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed after their kind, and trees bearing fruit with seed in them, after their kind; and God saw that it was good.
Wow, Abba, I see so much in this verse. I see the basic creation being embellished with even greater beauty and purpose.
Gen 1:9-10 - Then God said, “Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear;” and it was so. God called the dry land earth, and the gathering of the waters He called seas; and God saw that it was good. (NASB)
The waters are gathered so that the dry land can be seen. The essence of creation, the basic element of creation is gathered into one place so that what has been created can be seen. Abba, Your creation must be seen by all people. It doesn’t exist as simply matter, it actually becomes something, and in this case that something is land.
Gen 1:7 - God made the expanse, and separated the waters which were below the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse; and it was so. (NASB)
I am feeling totally surrounded by the basic component of creation, Abba. I feel like I am in the middle of an atom bomb – like I am at the core of the bomb, waiting for that moment when I would explode. This is not a bomb of destruction, but a bomb of creation, waiting to go off. When this bomb explodes, it does not destroy; it creates something wonderful and beautiful. What will be made when I explode, Abba? What will I be?
Then God said, “Let there be an expanse, in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.” (Genesis 1:6 NASB)
An expanse, Abba? I’m not quite sure what You mean by the word “expanse.” This makes me think of a bridge and the area under the bridge. That would mean there is water above the bridge and water below the bridge, with an open area between them. I think of the pictures from the “Journey to the Center of the Earth” movies when they are around the sea and there is something like a roof above them and the sea below them.
God called the light day, and the darkness he called night. And here was evening and there was morning, one day. (Genesis 1:5, NASB)
This verse, Abba, makes me think even more strongly that the darkness is not meant as spiritual darkness. That it is just the darkness of the night, the time when we can rest. I am reading this as the darkness is a good thing and cannot be equated with the difference between sin and following you as many people do.
God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness (Genesis 1:4, NASB)
Light and darkness – I have so much trouble with those words and their meanings. This seems to imply that the light is good and the darkness is bad. And in some ways that is right because the Light of God is good and I need to walk in His light. But at a more literal level, the darkness is also good because it is in the dark that we find God’s rest and time for our bodies to repair themselves.